Our New USSF Division Five Team: The Apex GolfcartSquirrels

Bojangles FC is proud to offer our support to a new team who will be playing in the new United States Soccer Federation’s Fifth Division, the Apex GolfcartSquirrels.

What is a GolfcartSquirrel?

The GolfcartSquirrel is a fictitious ground rodent that combines the lethargic manner of the 48 volt fairway companion with the erratic and unpredictable nature of the common squirrel. Apex originally was just an open expanse of farm land that has since developed into a place that has a rather nice golf course that was built for all of the doctors that moved to this Pleasantville suburb.  Squirrels are indigenous to the area and are often seen on the grounds at our new home at Apex High School.  The GolfcartSquirrel name was chosen just now by combining random things that can be found on or near planet earth.  Other names considered were Waterparkingspot, Dirtpigeon and Oxygenschoolbus.

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Bojangles as Savior

First and foremost, we here in the Cajun Filet Army are soccer fans. We just want a football club in the Raleigh/Durham Triangle area that we can all be proud of. While there is an existing team in Cary, NC, one major issue that cannot be overlooked is the current financial state of that club. The Independent Weekly’s Triangle Offense blog has detailed these recent economic concerns that are threatening the club’s existence.

Ownership has confirmed that recent discussions with one potential (unnamed) investor fell apart, and that the current owners have gotten to the point where they are both unwilling and unable to continue bankrolling the club themselves. “The current owners just don’t want to be involved anymore and they don’t want to operate at a loss,” said Brian Wellman (one of the owners). “They need to find new investors and new owners of the club.”

This is where Bojangles could and should step in.

Not only would they serve as the large company savior investor for the local team, they would also be able to finally re-brand the team as Bojangles FC. The newly branded team would finally give the local soccer-loving population a team to be proud of (instead of what we currently have: the worst-named, worst-colored, worst-logoed team in American pro sports). In summary, Bojangles has the ability to make all of our dreams into reality.

Until Bojangles steps in, we here in the Cajun Filet Army will keep fighting for this glorious new day to come. And when this new day finally arrives, you know we’ll be here celebrating with some hot, fresh, flaky biscuits.

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Welcome To Bojangles FC

Cajun Filet Army...United!

Hola! Welcome to the online home of the Cajun Filet Army. If you want to know exactly how Bojangles FC and the Cajun Filet Army came to be, I suggest that you check out our spiffy new “About” page. Basically, four guys had some beers at a bar in Durham and decided that the Carolina Railhawks, who will never be referred to by their real name in a post ever again, were stupid. We decided to start the Cajun Filet Army and the Bojangles FC campaign for a few reasons. One, the Railh**ks need some rowdy supporters who get drunk and curse a lot. Two, the Railh**ks need some investment and we’re hoping that our favorite fast food chain would be down. Three, the Railh**ks deserve to get made fun of for having such a stupid name. Four, U.S. Soccer needs a blog where some snarky assholes make fun of the stupid crap that happens and dish out some realness.

Obviously, this site is a bit of a work in progress, hence it currently looking like a basic WordPress site. Hopefully we can work out some improvements in the near future. We do currently have a twitter page, and I recommend that everyone checks that out.

One of our campaigns was going to be the eradication of Swoops, but the children of the Cajun Filet Army’s founding members are a big fan of the Railhawk…whatever the hell that is. Swoops will be spared, but we suggest that he is supplemented with our new mascot, Beau, the giant talking Cajun Filet Biscuit. If this is not possible, we would also be fine with the new mascot being a gigantic cup of sweet tea.

As we get closer to the NASL season, we’ll be organizing tailgates, writing songs to sing at the games, etc. For now, this site’s purpose is almost entirely snark. We hope you enjoy it and stick around.

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